Do you feel misunderstood?


The old cliché of my wife/husband/partner (or even the boss!) doesn’t understand me, is probably completely true.  Communication is a powerful tool, knowing how to communicate effectively is even more powerful!

The reason is, we all put our own interpretation on what’s being said to us. We have our own understanding or perception of what the words we are hearing, (or for that matter speaking) mean. The problems arise when we assume that the other person has the same understanding.

But we are all unique, so we don’t necessarily have that same ‘understanding’ of what’s being said. What’s stored in our brain is individual to us, we each develop our own perception of the world around us based on the experiences, memories, values and beliefs that we have filed away since the day we were born.

So when one person says I want you to ‘respect’ me, the person listening will have their own interpretation of what the word ‘respect’ means and will act accordingly. But often that won’t match what the speaker was looking for, and so the speaker becomes upset, disappointed and feels misunderstood, which can ultimately result in a conflict situation.

Relationship coaching with me, Lesley Downs, can teach you techniques for making sure that what you hear is what was meant, and get you communicating with those around you on a whole new level.